Happy 4th of July!  I hope all my friends in the States get to have all the fun fireworks and explodey things.  I’m not going to go into too much stuff because it just got dark and I really don’t like all this noise from the fireworks and explodey stuff.  Shout out to Kuma-chan for making an account and to anyone leaving comments today, I will get to them tomorrow once I’m calm.  I also feel the need to say that, although I do go to church, I do not consider myself a Christian. I do not worship the Christian God, but I do enjoy the community and the lessons that Jesus Christ taught, for the most part. Just so we’re clear for the future.  I’m also not Buddhist.  I’m non-denominational pagan, which roughly translates to me stealing bits of every religion.

Anyway, I was just at my aunt and uncle’s for dinner.  It was the first time since finding my path to a Life More Worth Living and my own special Zen-itude about life in general.  Holy shit, their house is so fucking loud and busy it’s ridiculous.  I was trying to talk to my youngest cousin, also on the Spectrum, but with the conversations everyone else was having and with the cats and dogs making their own noises, I was trying hard not to freak out.  Everyone tries to talk over each other and no one listens.

Honestly, I’m just so fucking happy to be at home.  It is very calming and relaxing and Zen to get back into a normal-ish routine and get all my normal shit done.  I am happy I got to go, I think.  Okaasan is upset with me for some reason.  Grandma yelled at people and got all worked up about something.  And everyone else was just loud and couldn’t sit still.

I’m rather pleased with myself for noticing how I was handling things and realizing why I feel the way I feel.  It’s a huge step for me.  I’ll go more in depth tomorrow.  I just wanted to let everyone know that I really fucking hate July 4th now and almost wish I was high or drunk just so I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit.  It’s really loud and random noises right now.

With care,

-The Sarcastic Autist


2 thoughts on “Check-in

  1. thankfully the fourth is almost over. i’m proud of you for going to see your family even when they are incredibly over stimulating. it’s also great that you are able to recognizing your emotions and evaluating situations instead of immediately going in to panic. this is a big step. keep it up honey!

    Liked by 1 person

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