Defining Dialectics

Greetings, my friends.  As many of you may know, Pokemon Go came online last night.  I’ve been having so much fun, despite the frequent rolling server downage. I’ve been enjoying that and my Japanese studies, as per the usual routine.  I’ve eaten almost the entire box of Vegan Cheese Squares.  They are good.  I highly recommend.  I mostly enjoy the feeling of not feeling sick eating them.  As for an update with my asthma: my voice has come back, mostly.  It still is a strain to talk for too long and doing too much of anything is setting off wheezing and coughing.  Which means I can’t play too much Pokemon Go right now.   I’m a bit sad about that.

Moving along to the main topic.  I was thinking today about the Ying-Yang sign, the balance between light and dark, good and evil.  I also thought about how I tend to go between the “please others” or “please myself” extremes.  In fact, before beginning my post, I decided to look up “Middle Paths” in my DBT Cheat Sheets Binder.  (It’s a binder full of old papers I had for DBT when I tried it in 2012.)

Now, before I fully immerse myself in writing down my thoughts and feelings about Balance and Middle Path ideology, I want to mention that there are times that taking such an approach is not viable and can, in fact, be harmful.  For the most part, I recognize it as an important practice to act upon.  Also worth noting, for the umpteenth time, I am not a trained professional, so anything I say/write should be viewed subjectively, not objectively.

To keep it simple, taking the Middle Path approach to life is basically having a good balance between Acceptance and Change.  According to my manual, there are 4 main areas of Middle Path-hood: Dialectics, Validation, Recovering from Invalidation, and Strategies for Changing Behavior.  I’m not going to go into too much detail on the last 3 items because I feel like I cover those fine on my own.  Dialectics, however, is a completely different matter.

Dialectics is the knowledge that everything has an opposite, everything is connected, change is the only constant, and that change is transactional.  I suppose you can also thing of Dialectics as having some base in the Laws of Physics.  For every reaction, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Everything is made of stardust.  We are constantly growing and evolving and we influence the world around us to grow and evolve as well.

Now, how does this apply to real life?  Well, my dear reader, I can tell you how I practice these beliefs.  Very Mindfully, because holy mackerel, Batman, these are some harsh realities if you get down to it, particularly the fact that everything has opposites that can be true simultaneously.  I don’t believe I can be doing my best if I’m also improving.  If I’m mad at someone, it’s hard for me to accept that I can still love them.  This is because I have very categorical black and white thinking that I’m working hard on abolishing.

However, I can tell you how I behave, even if I don’t think these as truths yet.  If someone does or says a less than desirable thing towards me, I try and get the reasoning behind it.  I can react neutrally and without aggravating a situation by inquiring the purpose of their behavior.  Like I did with Boris, even if they insist on behaving negatively towards me and I have to cut them out for my own mental well-being, that doesn’t mean I have stopped loving them.  In previous relationships, I always thought that if I didn’t accept an apology, even if it was a non-apology, I was the person in the wrong and thus I was being a jack-off.

I do firmly believe we are all connected.  There’s a theory called the Red String of Fate that says we are all connected by various threads, but those that are destined to be our partners/significant others/wife/husband/fiancee/insurance-fraud-partner-in-crime are connected to us by a Red String.  That is a very simplified version of it and is probably not 100% correct, but that’s basically the gist of it, I think.  I believe we all have our own little butterfly effects going on around us, caused by us, towards us.  It’s really amazing and awe-inspiring, for me at least.

As for the final bit of Dialectics, the only constant is Change.  I feel like I’m living proof of that.  You can go back through my blog and see how my views and beliefs have ever so slightly shifted.  I even talked about it in yesterday’s post.  I do still feel wary of Change and there are aspects of my life that is very hard for me to incorporate Change, such as where I sit at tables or on buses or in church.  I think it’s because Autism.  I don’t hate Change as much as I used to.  I even welcome Change in parts of my life because I recognize that I’m growing as a person and, as such, my environment and relationships are evolving alongside me.  Oh, see, butterfly effect in action right there!  Sugoi, ne?

Anyway, I like using Dialectics as a basis for acknowledging Change and learning to Accept it in order to live a good Balanced life.  It’s a good reference point whenever I’m having difficulties.  Quick review: we’re all connected and we’re all changing and growing and 2 seemingly polar opposites can be true at the same time.  These are hard truths and hard Realities and we need to Accept Change in order to Accept Reality, make sense how I got to this conclusion?  My various heathen gods, I hope so.

I can feel my asthma acting up again because of the increased humidity, so I’ll end today’s post with a few last words.  I hope that, as I move forward in my journey towards a Life More Worth Living, I act and think in a more Balanced and Understanding way.  I hope that I can continue to improve on my practice of Accepting Change and Accepting Reality as it is, whether I like it or not.  May you also continue on a path of joy and contentedness, learning and growing and teaching with me as I learn and grow and teach with you.  From one being to another, I salute all you have done and wish you nothing but happiness in your future.

With loving-kindness,

The Sarcastic Autist


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