Okay, I have no idea what to write about. So much has happened internally today. I have no idea how to get it all out.
I told a friend “Nah, I don’t like to think that way. I accept that this is my life and these are my problems and I need to work on improving them. If I get caught up in the ‘it could be worse’, I feel like I am invalidating what I’m going through by comparing potential realities to actual reality”.
I did laundry. I thought a lot about how starting to do a Sabbath every Saturday has really helped improve my mood. I thought about how doing Unplugged Quiet Time for an hour or so every day has helped me feel better. I thought about the various OTC meds I’m on.
I started doing a regime of probiotics in hopes that they help improve my various symptoms of Autism, Asthma, Depression, Anxiety, and so on and so forth. I tried to figure out why I can’t tell I need to use the toilet until the moment it becomes an emergency.
I listened to music. I realized that I really suck at listening and reading along to Japanese at the same time, so I’m going to work on that. I ate a lot. Well, a lot to me. Probably a normal amount to most people. I’m still hungry and I don’t know why.
I stared at books and decided not to read much. I’m in one of those complacent moods where I’m content doing nothing to improve because I don’t give a flying fuck about shit. At the same time, I do care about things. I just don’t want to do anything.
One of the neighbor kids asked me to be his friend. I thought it was cute. I realized I have a few more friends than I thought. I just don’t hang out with anyone really outside of where I met them.
I considered not going to church anymore. I stopped considering that. I don’t know if I’m going to do bible study this year or not.
My brain just feels full today. I sort of just want to chill a little bit before starting any new endeavors or doing too much deep thought on stuff because I feel like I’ve burned out a bit.
Either that or I’m just really hungry.
-The Sarcastic Autist