Random Ramblings: Part Whatever

Okay, I have no idea what to write about.  So much has happened internally today.  I have no idea how to get it all out.

I told a friend “Nah, I don’t like to think that way.  I accept that this is my life and these are my problems and I need to work on improving them.  If I get caught up in the ‘it could be worse’, I feel like I am invalidating what I’m going through by comparing potential realities to actual reality”.

I did laundry.  I thought a lot about how starting to do a Sabbath every Saturday has really helped improve my mood.  I thought about how doing Unplugged Quiet Time for an hour or so every day has helped me feel better.  I thought about the various OTC meds I’m on.

I started doing a regime of probiotics in hopes that they help improve my various symptoms of Autism, Asthma, Depression, Anxiety, and so on and so forth.  I tried to figure out why I can’t tell I need to use the toilet until the moment it becomes an emergency.

I listened to music.  I realized that I really suck at listening and reading along to Japanese at the same time, so I’m going to work on that.  I ate a lot.  Well, a lot to me.  Probably a normal amount to most people.  I’m still hungry and I don’t know why.

I stared at books and decided not to read much.  I’m in one of those complacent moods where I’m content doing nothing to improve because I don’t give a flying fuck about shit.  At the same time, I do care about things.  I just don’t want to do anything.

One of the neighbor kids asked me to be his friend.  I thought it was cute.  I realized I have a few more friends than I thought.  I just don’t hang out with anyone really outside of where I met them.

I considered not going to church anymore.  I stopped considering that.  I don’t know if I’m going to do bible study this year or not.

My brain just feels full today.  I sort of just want to chill a little bit before starting any new endeavors or doing too much deep thought on stuff because I feel like I’ve burned out a bit.

Either that or I’m just really hungry.

-The Sarcastic Autist

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