Random Ramblings: tired and apathetic

So, it’s Saturday.  I know I haven’t been doing Sarcastic Chaturdays for a long while now.  I have a ton of excuses, including my stutter being a pain in my ass.  Mostly, I’ve just been feeling a bit off and sad and not wanting to do it.  Most days, it’s been hard to even come online to type up a post, and my posts have been subpar.

Nothing really holds my interest for very long.  I have no ‘special interest’ or TVP.  I can’t seem to focus on anything.  I feel shallow and empty.  I need a spark.  Something, pretty much anything, that I can become obsessive with.  Maybe when I get my new phone and am able to download more stuff (my current phone is 8 GB because Apple sucks donkey balls and the V10 I want has 32 GB, which is like, 4x the storage), maybe then I can find something else to interest me.  It’s been a year officially that I’ve been studying Japanese and it’s become routine.  Writing on my blog has become routine.

I don’t want to read any of my books or watch anything except Once Upon a Time.  I want to sleep all the time.  It’s getting on my nerves.

I think part of my issue right now is that I’m struggling not to let my ED control me again.  I think I mentioned that I had gained some weight and that bothers me so fucking much.  I refuse to go back to the old purging thing though.  I want my stomach contents to remain my stomach contents.

I think I’m just tired of being tired all the time too.

-The Sarcastic Autist


5 thoughts on “Random Ramblings: tired and apathetic

  1. I love once upon a time. I didn’t know they still made 8gb phones. I don’t like apple phones-I like Samsung galaxy phones, but the iPad Air 2 is super awesome and accessible I gave up having a phone to has this (I can’t make phone calls anyway and if I could there’s Skype and google voice/hangouts).

    Liked by 1 person

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