So, it’s Saturday. I know I haven’t been doing Sarcastic Chaturdays for a long while now. I have a ton of excuses, including my stutter being a pain in my ass. Mostly, I’ve just been feeling a bit off and sad and not wanting to do it. Most days, it’s been hard to even come online to type up a post, and my posts have been subpar.
Nothing really holds my interest for very long. I have no ‘special interest’ or TVP. I can’t seem to focus on anything. I feel shallow and empty. I need a spark. Something, pretty much anything, that I can become obsessive with. Maybe when I get my new phone and am able to download more stuff (my current phone is 8 GB because Apple sucks donkey balls and the V10 I want has 32 GB, which is like, 4x the storage), maybe then I can find something else to interest me. It’s been a year officially that I’ve been studying Japanese and it’s become routine. Writing on my blog has become routine.
I don’t want to read any of my books or watch anything except Once Upon a Time. I want to sleep all the time. It’s getting on my nerves.
I think part of my issue right now is that I’m struggling not to let my ED control me again. I think I mentioned that I had gained some weight and that bothers me so fucking much. I refuse to go back to the old purging thing though. I want my stomach contents to remain my stomach contents.
I think I’m just tired of being tired all the time too.
-The Sarcastic Autist