Konnichiwa, minna! Oh man, I feel like today’s just been so long. I do yoga when I wake up, after I’ve had my coffee. Then I do yoga at night, after I’ve studied and had dinner. I can take anywhere from 20-40 minutes doing a single session of yoga. Yes, most if it is my PT exercises. It’s still hard. I have fun doing it though. So there’s that. I also cleaned the bathroom today. I mean, I didn’t deep clean it. I just swept and wiped everything down and took out garbage and did the cat’s poop box. However, I did it all without being asked and I didn’t even use a list. I feel like that’s a win for me. Shark Week, though. I hate Shark Week.
Story Time! When I was a wee little one, moving from the 1st grade into the 2nd grade, I threw a complete shit-fit because I wanted to keep my teacher. She took me aside and she said,” Sarcastic Autist-kun, I know you want to stay in my class forever. I loved having you and it was such a joy teaching you. But you are such a smart little girl and you have so much more to learn and there’s nothing left for me to teach you. You can always come back and visit me. But if you stay in my class, you’ll never be able to grow up and do all the things the big kids are doing. Go to 2nd grade and I promise you will have fun. Change is hard.” I mean, it’s not verbatim, but it’s pretty close.
The reason I share this is because I had this reaction every single time I moved up a grade or got a new teacher. I would act like a little brat about the entire situation. I felt scared and confused and the new environment with new people took a long time for me to get used to. It’s kind of like how I feel with doing therapy with Charon. I like Charon. I trust her and she’s my favourite and most influential and best therapist I’ve ever had. That’s saying something because I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 6 years old. That’s a lot of therapists.
However, just like Mrs. 1st Grade Teacher, I may just be at that point where I’m needing a new therapist in order to learn and grow as a person. Switching therapists doesn’t mean that Charon hates me or that I’m a failure or anything negative like that. It’s actually a really beautiful thing, if you think about it, because it means that Charon has taught me all she can and she wants me to move forward and learn more and be the best I can. I can always go back to visit, too.
On the other hand, I want to keep seeing Charon because I like her and I would feel like I’m losing a friend because I have issues with knowing the difference between relationship sub-types. If I’m not attracted to someone in a sexual way and I like them, I lump them all in the Friend Zone. Kuma-chan is my best friend and that’s the only real differentiation that I have with them.
It’s getting late and I may be attending church tomorrow. I think I’m actually going to skip it. None-the-less, I’m tired and I want to go to sleep. Good night, my friends.
-The Sarcastic Autist