eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Hello, my followers and my friends and just random people stopping by! Today was ‘payday’ for a lot of us on disability, including Okaasan and me.  We went to the stores to get food stuffs and necessities.  Okaasan’s birthday is next week so I had told her I’d get her a bra.  And then I noticed there was a sale going on in the store (we have to go to a plus-size shop for her) and so I got her 3 tops and a bra.  Unbeknownst to her, I also secretly bought a nightgown for her and I’m going to give it to her on Christmas Eve.  I was going to get her a walker for Christmas, but that went out the window.  I spent more on clothes for her than I would have for a walker, but she seemed really grateful.  She’s always going on about how she never buys herself any clothes because she can’t afford them.  I’m really glad I was able to do this for her.  She seems happy.

I also got a printer and I ordered a book for Kuma-chan and some more protein powder and a new Medical ID bracelet.  This one is made of cloth so I don’t have to worry about my nickel allergy.  I’m excited about the printer because I feel like it opens a lot more opportunities for me with Charon.  I’ll be able to print out sections of my blog to show her or just write stuff down in general.  It hurts to write too much because I have tendinitis from the teachers and everyone forcing me to practice my handwriting for hours and because my writing utensil holding is very hard.  I have calluses on my middle finger from holding pencils too hard.

I don’t know if I’m just paying more attention to the Autism stuff like my spazzing and my sensory issues or if I’m getting worse.  I used to be able to hold in my verbal stim stuff but today at Big Blue Box Store I ended up doing my eeeeee thing for a solid minute because Okaasan kept trying to talk to me when there was people right next to us and loud Christmas Music playing and my phone kept going off and there was a lot of people and noises and sights and vibrations so I just went eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I mean, I felt better afterwards.  Okaasan laughed because she thought it was just me being a dork.  But it was also embarrassing.  Today was a too-much day and I hate that they seem to be getting more frequent.  I feel like I’m struggling more in my day-to-day stuff but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it is that is getting harder.  I even feel like my words aren’t like they used to be.  Maybe I’m just tired.

I hope so.

-The Sarcastic Autist