Randomness and Sillyness

Hello, everyone!  I have a bump on my head still that is sore from getting konked with that light globe thingy from the ceiling and I’m tired as all hell, but past that, I’m doing swell.  I’m a bit upset because I put too much powder into my protein shake and now it’s too chocolatey and that makes me sad.  I also did some very mild stretching today instead of my normal routine because I feel tight and I feel like I need a massage to get loose and relaxed again.  I slept a lot too, after my appointment with Charon.

I had printed off a couple of fun things for her, such as a sign that says “Reality is a Drop Bear Free Zone” and my blog post from yesterday.  The blog post had all the names changed back into the real names before I printed it out.  I think that really helped our session and helped me articulate stuff better.

I had also made it a personal goal to look at Charon and make eye contact at least twice and I did that.  I didn’t mention that it was my goal because that would have been weird, but I will mention it next week.  The only person I told of my goal was Kuma-chan, who I tell everything to.

Charon did say that I have a decent enough grasp on the concept of Reality Acceptance, it’s the execution of it that I have a problem with.  Probably because I don’t understand myself well.  And also because Autism.

Anyway.  I am planning on printing out more blog posts for Charon in the future.  I’m actually going to go back and dig through and see which ones I’d like to start with.  I’m open to suggestions.

I started taking Vitamin D3 again so my mood has slowly been getting better.  I’m also hungry right now so if my writing seems a bit incoherent, it’s because I’m imagining eating more sad tasting pizza.

Something that I want to write down before I forget again is that Charon said that my weight loss is sort of like a new toy.  It was awesome at first but then I got used to it after a while and don’t treat it as super-awesome-fun-best-thing-ever now.  And because I’m used to seeing my face everyday, it sort of makes sense that I’m super critical of myself.  Also because eating disorder shit.

She also laughed when I told her I’ve become a bit of a selfie whore on Facebook.  Because I feel like a sexy muthafucka sometimes.  And then I look back on my photos and go ‘ohgodswhy’.

Well, I’m going to go to bed.  I’m much too silly right now.

-The Sarcastic Autist


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