Godsdamn Emotions

Guys, I fucking hate wrapping presents.  I also fucking hate decorating.  Because I suck at it.  I actually tore off the wrapping paper of this one gift and threw it because it wasn’t wrapping like I wanted it to.  I had to stop and take a break from it because I was getting so frustrated.

Something I’ve noticed with me is that, when I’m asked why I’m upset about a thing, I’ll often say “I dunno”.  However, if I’m asked what made me upset, I can say that it’s this thing. Basically, asking me ‘why’ is harder for me to process versus asking me what.

Charon told us a story about how her offspring was playing with cars and the pet stepped on one.  Offspring got upset and Charon asked what made Offspring upset and Offspring said it was because Pet stepped on the car.  Would putting the car back make Offspring feel better?  Yes.  So she did that and Offspring went back to being a happy tiny human playing with cars.

The story made me realize how childish my emotional response to things is.  And also how hard it is for me to process problem solving.  I often find that I need someone else to talk to, even about little things, in order to figure out how to fix something.  There’s something about emotion stuff that puts a block in my brain and pisses me the fuck off.

I just don’t understand it.  I can be just fine and do Sudoku and read books and do computer stuff and even write a blog with next to no problems, but as soon as emotions come into play, I freeze up and act like I’m brain damaged.

To quote Hermione Granger to Ron Weasley, I have the emotional range of a teaspoon.  Which is generally Not Good.  Sorry, Not Effective.

I hate that I basically have to go through a flowchart to figure out what I’ve felt every time I fill out the diary card or any time I get asked how a specific thing made me feel.

I don’t know.  I’m kind of tired and maybe hungry and I want a cookie.

-The Sarcastic Autist

10 thoughts on “Godsdamn Emotions

  1. And little people brains are overloaded with to much information just autistic brains so it makes sense we may process and respond to some things the same or similar

    Liked by 1 person

    • I should bring this up to Charon. I think a huge issue for me is that I keep trying to assert myself as an adult in all aspects, but emotionally I’m like a little kid and should learn stuff like a little kid would. I downloaded and printed off a bunch of worksheets for stuff like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • And that’s ok. You don’t have to be what someone thinks an adult is supposed to be. You work on yourself at your levels and find what works for you. If you learn better a different way even made for little kids then is better to do that then try learn how someone thinks an adult should learn if you can’t and it makes you worse not better. And me not knows any adult that is always super good with feelings- they get mad and yell and be mean and stuff to. You are being more adult/responsible than most because you know you need some help and is work on yourself. Lots of adults like to think they not has problems

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes. It’s not always easy especially with the thought drop bears (btw me really likes that post) but I believe in you. And I’ll be here to remind you that it’s ok for us to who we are. No more boxes. Except cardboard boxes because I’m a white tiger and cats loves boxes, you can make them spaceships and blast off to hide from everything

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks! It’s much easier for me to understand the DBT stuff if I translate it into Drop Bears. It’s kinda weird, but I don’t care.
        Thanks for believing in me.
        And yesterday was boxing day and I don’t know what that is but I always make box forts when I can. Yay boxing day.

        Liked by 1 person

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