Guys, I fucking hate wrapping presents. I also fucking hate decorating. Because I suck at it. I actually tore off the wrapping paper of this one gift and threw it because it wasn’t wrapping like I wanted it to. I had to stop and take a break from it because I was getting so frustrated.
Something I’ve noticed with me is that, when I’m asked why I’m upset about a thing, I’ll often say “I dunno”. However, if I’m asked what made me upset, I can say that it’s this thing. Basically, asking me ‘why’ is harder for me to process versus asking me what.
Charon told us a story about how her offspring was playing with cars and the pet stepped on one. Offspring got upset and Charon asked what made Offspring upset and Offspring said it was because Pet stepped on the car. Would putting the car back make Offspring feel better? Yes. So she did that and Offspring went back to being a happy tiny human playing with cars.
The story made me realize how childish my emotional response to things is. And also how hard it is for me to process problem solving. I often find that I need someone else to talk to, even about little things, in order to figure out how to fix something. There’s something about emotion stuff that puts a block in my brain and pisses me the fuck off.
I just don’t understand it. I can be just fine and do Sudoku and read books and do computer stuff and even write a blog with next to no problems, but as soon as emotions come into play, I freeze up and act like I’m brain damaged.
To quote Hermione Granger to Ron Weasley, I have the emotional range of a teaspoon. Which is generally Not Good. Sorry, Not Effective.
I hate that I basically have to go through a flowchart to figure out what I’ve felt every time I fill out the diary card or any time I get asked how a specific thing made me feel.
I don’t know. I’m kind of tired and maybe hungry and I want a cookie.
-The Sarcastic Autist