Okay, honestly, I’ve had an emotional roller coaster of a day and don’t feel like talking about it quite yet. I’m going to be calling Kuma-chan after I brush my teeth here in a minute.
I gave all 3 of those blog post print-outs to Charon but we only managed to sort of talk about one because I speak like a potato verbally sometimes. Hence why I liked the idea of printing them off in the first place.
The one we talked about was the Autism one. I gave her chocolates and a soda pop in case I made her cry. Gods damn, she reads slow. Of course, I say that as a person who reads really really fast. Insanely fast. Ridiculously insanely fast. She’s still faster than a lot of people that I know, so there’s that.
I got a little bit frustrated because I felt like I am able to say what I want and need when I’m typing but when I was speaking I couldn’t get the words to form right.
Anyway.
I also kind of wish I could take back the other two posts for right now. But I’m not going to.
Charon mentioned that I might not be graduating DBT quite yet. I didn’t ask for details why and I wish I did. I might on Wednesday because it’s bothering me. It’s one thing for me to think that I’m not doing well. It’s another to have someone else confirm it.
(Drop Bears. I have no idea what her reasoning is and I’m going to have to ask or I’ll just put myself into a shame spiral)
ANyway. I’m possibly going to eat another tortilla and call Kuma-chan.
Night.
-The Sarcastic Autist
the sarcastic autist 
Just a shot in the dark here, but the last three posts covered a lot of emotional upheaval that suggests that you may still need to work through that maybe DBT can help you with. That’s just my thoughts but I haven’t been through DBT so I don’t know.
In any case, be well. ❤
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I really struggle with emotion regulation and emotions just in general. That’s probably why. There’s a weird disconnect between my reason and emotion mind. Because Autism.
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Because Bipolar too it seems. I get told I have the same issue all the time. My reason goes out the window too often apparently.
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Emotion Regulation is hard. I feel like a kindergartner who got thrown into college when it comes to that section. I can understand some of the things being said but none of it connects and I just want to go in the corner and doodle or read.
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It IS hard! I feel too damn much. Sometimes it is easier to say I am a raging fire, or a rushing river, or a stormy ocean. Believe it or not telling me you feel like a waffle emotionally makes sense to me. The question is if we are both thinking the same thing when you say it. Like is it a warm toasty feeling or a limp soggy feeling or just a dead, nothing type of feeling?
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Feeling like a waffle is sort of feeling like a potato, but with more of a pancake feel. It’s like I can sort of express myself and get things done, but it’s in a way that makes me feel weird and less than.
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I wish it didn’t make you feel less than. *hugs* I wish it gave you a sense of creative expression instead. Fuck the rest of the world for not understanding.
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Is okay. I don’t really understand myself half the time, lol
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I’m hopes your feel better. Words can be really super hard. Will her maybe let you email? Or she can type questions for you and you can work on answers to bring in next time?
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I will ask her if it’s okay. Maybe she will be okay with me bringing my laptop to type the questions on so I can see them visually. I do better answering written stuff than verbal stuff. Verbally, I often feel like a potato.
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It’s always good idea to ask. Me can days to weeks or more to understand what someone say and respond. Even people who can talk can has different levels of things like apraxia and aphasia that can make it hard to find words and make your mouth say them.
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I have it written down on diary card to ask her. I think it’d be a lot better for us.
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That’s awesome idea.
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Thank you. ^_^
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You’re super welcome
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