TVP & Exposure Therapy Thoughts

Oh my goodness, so many books, so little time!  I saw Charon today and tried explaining to her about my current TVP and the books I’m using for it and she said that I’m reading self-improvement books so maybe I’m doing self-improvement.  Except that’s not how it feels to me.  I’m not really doing self-improvement stuff with it.

I am doing a lot of thinking and defining about what things mean to me.  I see it more as a spiritual thing than a self-improvement.  I’m setting standards for myself and saying that this is what I think my values should be and these are my goals in life and these are the basic standards of how I should treat myself and others.

This may come as a surprise to a few of you, but I’m not a Christian.  I do not consider myself a Christian and I do not worship the Christian god.  It’s not that I don’t believe in him.  I believe in the existence of all gods.  I just don’t worship a vast majority of them.  I don’t even worship my chosen patron gods any more.  I’m more focused on being a decent person.  I go to church because I see it as a spiritual connection place and I go to bible study because I like learning different views on stuff and getting morals.  Heck, I even participate in church events because I think they’re fun.

I’m not a member of any church and I consider myself non-denominational pagan.  I’ve studied many religions and many sub-sects of those religions.  I’ve meditated and pondered and thought and prayed and this is the conclusion that I’ve come to.  That I can take little bits from all the beliefs I’ve studied and try to live by the standards of being ‘good’, but I won’t limit myself or bog myself down by the hate and hypocrisy I see in every religion.  I guess one could technically call me agnostic, but I’m not agnostic.  I’m not an atheist either.

So I’m trying to uncomplicated myself and have a set of rules and standards for me to live by.  It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, defining and having a written thing for me to consult that’s individualized for my needs.

But my TVP isn’t quite that either.  It’s more like a really fun research paper on stuff right now.

On another note entirely, Charon brought up starting exposure therapy.  I have no idea what to do for that.  The thing I’m most afraid of is the dark.  I get absolutely petrified of the dark.  I carry a flashlight (separate from my phone’s flashlight) with me at all times.  I sleep with the bathroom light on so I can use it as a nightlight.

I don’t know why I’m afraid of the dark.  I wasn’t always so afraid.  It’s something to think about.

I don’t have any idea how to do ‘exposure therapy’ with the dark though.  I’m not going into a closet, that’s for sure.  I came out years ago and I refuse to go back in.  (That was a joke, kinda.  I’m not going into any closets.  I’m claustrophobic.)

-The Sarcastic Autist

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4 thoughts on “TVP & Exposure Therapy Thoughts

  1. There is a special word for your approach to religion. My sister told it to me once saying that I have a similar approach but I think you embrace better than I do. I wish I could remember the word. But it’s where you are willing to learn from them all because you see them all as valid and incorporate what works for you. I think that’s what it means. I need to ask her again.

    I have been lazy and have fallen away from everything so I don’t think it applies to me much anymore. I still think all religions are valid but I don’t think I belong anywhere if that makes sense.

    Thoughts are the seeds of action so I think the first step towards self improvement would be to sort out your thoughts and feelings about who you want to be and what you want out of life. Once you have all that defined, you have a clearer path before you for your actions to make those self improvements.

    I’m told exposure therapy is one of the hardest to go through simply due to what you’re doing. There is no way anyone could do exposure therapy for one of my deepest fears which is serious harm to children. So I don’t think it applies for me. As far as your fear of the dark they may put you in a safe room and set the brightness of the light to various dimness levels and at each stage let you get comfortable until you reach pitch black. And just keep doing it until you are comfortable with the pitch black.

    Liked by 1 person

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