OMG words. Okay, hello. Welcome. I am noisy in my head today. I had Physical Therapy and I am doing so much better that I was told I can start doing Yoga full on so long as there was no pain and I made sure to do all my exercises and stuff. I love being able to exercise. It makes me feel good.
To go further into yesterday’s issues, I think a part of my problem is that there’s no real structure in my appointments with Charon. I’m planning on making my own worksheet to fill out in addition to the Diary Card so that I feel like there’s less ambiguity in some of the standard questions I get asked.
The question that always makes me start to shut down is the first question Charon asks me every week. “How was your week”. It’s an innocent and standard question but when I’ve been spending all day rehearsing what I want to talk about and have a very itemised mental list/schedule, that question throws me off. It sets off my balance.
It could be the wording that makes it a non-question, a non-question being those standard “how are you” questions no one really cares to know the real answer to besides “okie dokie”, which is a non-answer. So every week, I giver her the same non-answer to her non-question. “It was a week”. Because that’s all I can think of.
You would think that I’d be prepared for that question since she’s asked it every time. And sometimes I am prepared for that question and I’m prepared to give a non-standard answer but when I open my mouth the same sentence pops out. “It was a week”.
Then we talk bullshit for the rest of the session. Charon’s expressed her frustration with the bullshitting and I’m frustrated with it too and I’m not sure how to stop without more structure in the form of a worksheet. If I can see the questions and give myself even just 10 minutes to fill out a sheet, I think I can really improve the efficacy of our sessions.
Kuma-chan also offered to have me call her before sessions so I can calm down and not be so anxious. That is very kind of her to offer and I’m very appreciative of it. I think my idea of a worksheet is good too and I want to try that before I try Kuma-chan’s thing.
So far, I just have the idea of answering the non-question on a rate of effectiveness, good/bad, and whether or not any crisis situations popped up that should be dealt with. Also stating Drop Bears that I may of slain or driven off, Poltergeist activity, my 3 Core Goals, 3 Core Issues, 3 Core Values, 3 Core Roadblocks and how I’ve dealt with all that.
And yes, I’m working on actual definitions for a lot of things and I am so very excited to be doing that. I was originally going to give a list of terms and my definitions today, but it is going to take a lot longer to do and I’m going to have to reflect about a bunch of them. I also want to Alphabetize them.
I would love feedback on any of this, by the way. I enjoy outside perspectives.
Almost as much as I love tacos.
-The Sarcastic Autist