There’s a song called “Raining Tacos” and it’s amazing and you should all go listen to it. I’d link to it but I’m being lazy.
I didn’t read today. I did force myself to study my Japanese, but I hadn’t even touched THe Places That Scare You today. Instead, I cleaned out the fridge and freezer so I have more room for meal prepping and because the fridge was gross. I feel unclean. (Side note: I may be considered “high functioning” for the most part, but I communicate a lot with random noises when I’m feeling a strong emotion. I make this weird and slightly annoying whining groan when someone is unintentionally inhibiting a task I want to do. It’ll eventually escalate to louder tones and an attempt at words. Anyway, I did that to Okaasan and scared her because I don’t make a lot of noise when I walk. It was funny.)
So, I’m also excited for going to the stores tomorrow! We’re going to Whole Foods and it’s also my birthday. I’m turning 26. It’s been 15 years and I still haven’t gotten my letter to Hogwarts. Oh well.
I want to try to find a gluten-free and nut-free vegan cake or cake mix or something. I’d be okay with the gluten even. Gluten makes me sluggish, not sick. And I want cake and ice cream and a stuffed panda and socks and candy and bacon.
It’s kind of funny. Every year, I try not to get my hopes up for having a nice birthday. I tell myself that I shouldn’t get excited because my birthday normally ends with sadness and disappointment. It was on my birthday that I originally cut contact with my dad for being a dick about me being gay. My family would promise me things like taking me to Chuckee Cheese and then renegade on that and take me to boring places. I’d ask for chocolate cake and they’d get me vanilla. There were some years that my birthday went forgotten.
I want Taco Bell. Obaasan (my grandma) is sick and is still recovering from being in the hospital. She said she’d take me to Taco Bell when she’s doing better because that’s one of the few places her doctor said would be okay for her to eat at. That’s nice of her.
It’s also a sad day for me because I know my body is getting older but my brain is stuck. I’m trying to tell myself that that’s all right because it’s the Autism thing, since it’s technically a developmental disorder. It still makes me sad that I feel like there’s part of my mind that’s missing.
I’m going to go to bed now because I made myself sad.
-The Sarcastic Autist