Hey, I’ll work on replies and everything tomorrow. Tonight I just kinda need a place to vent and not worry about being nice or polite.
I feel like I kind’ve been in a sort of half-shutdown half-depressed sort of state. I’m able to enjoy things and have fun, but anything that means bettering myself or making a Life More Worth Living freezes me in my tracks.
I’m not even trying anymore. I laugh and joke and read my fun fiction books about zombies, but put forth no effort in getting a case worker again or filling out the endless forms for housing and such. Charon has really been pushing me to get a case worker to help me out with all this stuff.the last time I had a case worker in this county, she was very mean to me.
Charon says I need to get out of my mother’s place. No argument there. I have no faith in my ability to take care of myself. I manage okay when living with someone else, but I clash a lot too. I need to pick up my room and I have no idea where anything goes anymore. I’ve been struggling to keep up with laundry enough so that I can have clean socks and underwear.
I totally binged on junk food today. Lent being over means I got my scales back and the scale is within normal range of what I was before, give or take. So I got that going for me at least.
I also got all these people telling me how inspirational and wise and resilient and special I am and how kind and nice I treat everyone else. I don’t feel those things.
I mostly just feel like a lost and broken little girl.
-The Sarcastic Autist