I slept most of yesterday. I was in pain and just tired. I kept thinking about how I gave my therapist those blog posts and thinking that she won’t believe me and that she will be mad. I have a lot of doubts. I doubt anyone will believe. I doubt I’m worth anything. I doubt […]
I passed out shortly after 8 last night and woke up an hour or so ago. I’m still a bit tired, but the cat decided that I can’t sleep when I’m having nightmares (or when she wants pets and attention). Oh, at the beginning of the month, I lost a $20 bill. It was supposed […]
Okay, so having gotten near 3 hours of sleep last night, as according to my fitbit, I am tired as all fuck and have only been functioning through the amazing power of caffeine and Bronkaid. Mostly just caffeine. Therapy went okay. I told her I wanted to process my childhood more as a general […]
I got almost 3 full hours of sleep last night. Nightmares. Mostly about living with my aunt and uncle and living at the house I grew up in. A few other things thrown in too. I still have no idea what to do next in therapy. It’s a start though. And for the record, tons […]
I’ll remind you all that the point of this is to figure out where to go next in therapy. I’m trying to find a couple more things to do in Exposure Therapy. What memories are the most vivid, the most traumatic, the ones that give me the most nightmares? So far, most of my […]
I am filled with anxiety and sadness now. Writing earlier has brought up many memories and sensations I thought I had forgot. Maybe it’s the weather. Smells of must and mold and decay, of dog shit and piss and rotten food. The taste of it in the air. The feeling of uncleanliness that never has […]
Okay, last time I wrote I think I was telling you guys about needing to come up with the next thing to do in therapy, regarding Exposure Therapy stuff. I’ve been thinking and all I’m coming up with is stuff I don’t want to talk about. Naturally, this means it’s stuff that I need to […]
So, my appointment with my therapist was cancelled today, which really sucks because I really needed to talk to her. I know I could call but I don’t want to bother her. Which is kind of silly since she said I could call her about stuff anytime and if she was busy she just wouldn’t […]
Getting a migraine again I’ve been dealing with an aura for it for a bit but I’ve been doing all I can to keep it at bay. I’m also in pain in my pelvic area and also soreness in my arm muscles. I kinda am having an issue staying present, I guess. So, I can’t […]
Okay, so I had one of the spiciest ramens in the world today. It was amazing. I will definitely be buying it again. I really want the other spicy ones too. The library in town is having this blind book date thing where they wrap the book like a present and only put the first […]
the sarcastic autist 