I’m trying to set aside time in my schedule for doing my blog, especially now that DBT group has started again.  I really like how my blog helps me to process and understand things.  Also, it’s just nice to vent.

So, since it’s been a while, I feel I should update on the random crap.  I’ve gained weight over the past 6 months.  Not a whole lot, less than 10 lbs and I’m sure at least 1 lb of that is muscle weight.  I have pain when I work out so I hadn’t been doing it as much.  I figure, if I’m going to be in pain anyway, I might as well do some simple yoga and weight lifting.  Start walking a bit.  I feel better about myself when I move.  Something about the physical feedback of my activities helping me get better in tune with my body.

I saw the in-house HRT specialist at the gender therapy place I’ve been going to.  The lady had no chin.  She was also a half hour late, the nurse took my weight on a scale set directly on carpet, I had to wait longer while the room was cleaned from the last client, and she barely spoke to me and was insistent that I couldn’t have had a reaction from the Depot shot for Endometriosis and that those family of shots is the only way for me to stop my periods and I need to get over my weight gain issue.  The appointment was supposed to be an hour long.  It was not.  It was like, 20 minutes.

I told Cybele about it and how I felt invalidated and like the lady just wasn’t listening to me.  Apparently, a lot of their Neurodiverse clients have had issues with Chinless.  So, Cybele emailed a friend of hers at the local LGBTQ+ friendly clinic and helped me get an appointment there.  I saw the people there this Tuesday and I was very pleased.  I was given a pamphlet/forms/informed consent information thingy  to look over for the next month.  I’m going to be talking to Charon and my gyno and Cybele about the pros and cons and risks and what exactly I can do to help cope with any hormonal emotion shit.  It’s for T (testosterone).

Now, I’d played with the idea of going on T before.  The hair loss and clitoral growth is generally what’s put me off of it.  There’s a class of medicine called DHT (dihydrotestosterone) that can be taken in addition to T to help prevent the stuff I don’t want.  I’ve decided I’m going to do this.  T and DHT (consulting with the HRT person now known as Ganesha here).  I’m going to do this.  It’s what feels right to me.

Onto DBT group.  I went through it at the old place and now I’m doing it at the new place.  Charon is leading it.  We went over Wise Mind, which is basically finding The Balance Within even if the world is fucking you up with all its chaotic bullshit.  I’ve got homework that I’ve looked at.  Haven’t done it yet.  I’m going to do some after I finish blogging and my Japanese.

I guess I don’t really have much else to put right now.  I’ll try to update regularly again.

-The Sarcastic Autist

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