Reasons Why Anxiety

My mum had a surgery today for her kidney stones and she didn’t come home because she wasn’t getting stabilized with oxygen and stuff.  She should be home tomorrow.

I slept for a long time.  It was nice.  I forgot to take a couple of my meds last night, but since I don’t get withdrawals from missing any dosages and it’s nothing too important, I don’t really care.  I took an easy-ish day today to try and recharge.

I am feeling a bit better, although my anxiety has been really high.  Partly from being so busy lately with everything, partly with my mum being in the hospital, partly from trying to facilitate a book club thing, partly from having to meet with my fundamentalist christian godmother who attends a ‘miracle’ church who believes in miracle stuff, partly because my eating disorder stuff is flaring up, partly because it’s just that time of year.

Mostly because this is my life.

I realized that November 11 is on a Sunday again this year and I’m really hoping that I am good.  I’m probably not, but I believe in being ridiculously optimistic when it suits me.

I also noticed that I had a really hard time recognizing the other therapist in group yesterday because she had her hair up and she normally has it down.  One of the new people also looks a lot like her.  I’m not good with faces.  Probably some sort of face blindness thing.  I used to go ‘nah, I don’t have that, people’s faces ain’t blurry’.  They don’t have to be blurry.  Just very similar.

I’m supposed to be hanging out with my friend tomorrow.  I’m pretty excited about that.  We might be going to Chipotle.

-the Sarcastic Autist

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