Tiny Bite-Sized Processes

Okay, so I tend to be very bad at being able to do the whole break everything down into manageable tasks thing.  I see the forest and I see the trees and I see the leaves on the trees and I forget about the branches and then remember about the branches and end up getting overwhelmed with it all.  The reason I bring this up is because I’ve been very busy and I still have a lot of stuff I need to get done.  Instead of getting overwhelmed and giving up again, I am blogging about it so I can hopefully calm down and process some of what’s been going on.

Yesterday, I hung out with Luffy.  We hung out all day and we went to random shops and had Taco Bell.  I love Taco Bell.  Taco Bell is my favourite.  Then he was kind enough to go with me to the trans support group meeting, which we were late for because I kept thinking it was at a later time than it actually was.  There was also a parade that blocked off a lot of streets that made it hard to actually get to the meeting.  But we went.  It was nice to be in room full of other trans people.  I was the only one that wasn’t a trans woman.  I was also the youngest.  Afterwards, some of us went to dinner and hung out a bit more.  I had fun there, too.  I exchanged numbers with a couple of the women and we are making plans to hang out again outside of the group.  Luffy is also doing that.

While I couldn’t relate exactly, I could relate to their experiences on the opposite end of the spectrum.  I would steal clothes from my brother to wear.  The leader mentioned a few things that trans masculine people would struggle with, especially the dysphoria with periods, and that I could 100% relate to.

I’m still having issues with figuring out how to tell my godmother I don’t want to go to her church because it makes me sad and uncomfortable.  I’ve been avoiding that conversation.  I’m going to continue to avoid that conversation until I can talk to Charon about it.  Because I don’t want to go to her church because of its stance on the LGBTQIA+ community.

She did give me a lot of money for watching her dogs though, so there’s that.  Way more than I feel I earned.

I have killer cramps.  It’s making it hard to do anything.  I think I may have accidentally ingested stuff I wasn’t supposed to yesterday.  I ate at a couple of places that didn’t seem to have the best countermeasures for cross-contamination for dairy things.  I’m pretty sure I saw cheese in my salsa.  I probably ate a bit.  I’m really glad I’m not anaphylactic allergic, mostly just the edge of extremely intolerant and hives.  It would explain the itchiness today.

I think I’m going to talk to Charon about how the busyness has been affecting my anxiety.  I can’t break this down well and it gets overwhelming really fast.  That sounds like a good topic.  Because I really want to be able to function on my own and part of functioning on my own is learning how to do all that stuff on my own and I can’t do it on my own until someone teaches me how to do it first.

Okay, I have a plan.  I will be able to set that plan into motion tomorrow.  Go me.

-the Sarcastic Autist














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