Okay, so I tend to be very bad at being able to do the whole break everything down into manageable tasks thing. I see the forest and I see the trees and I see the leaves on the trees and I forget about the branches and then remember about the branches and end up getting overwhelmed with it all. The reason I bring this up is because I’ve been very busy and I still have a lot of stuff I need to get done. Instead of getting overwhelmed and giving up again, I am blogging about it so I can hopefully calm down and process some of what’s been going on.
Yesterday, I hung out with Luffy. We hung out all day and we went to random shops and had Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell. Taco Bell is my favourite. Then he was kind enough to go with me to the trans support group meeting, which we were late for because I kept thinking it was at a later time than it actually was. There was also a parade that blocked off a lot of streets that made it hard to actually get to the meeting. But we went. It was nice to be in room full of other trans people. I was the only one that wasn’t a trans woman. I was also the youngest. Afterwards, some of us went to dinner and hung out a bit more. I had fun there, too. I exchanged numbers with a couple of the women and we are making plans to hang out again outside of the group. Luffy is also doing that.
While I couldn’t relate exactly, I could relate to their experiences on the opposite end of the spectrum. I would steal clothes from my brother to wear. The leader mentioned a few things that trans masculine people would struggle with, especially the dysphoria with periods, and that I could 100% relate to.
I’m still having issues with figuring out how to tell my godmother I don’t want to go to her church because it makes me sad and uncomfortable. I’ve been avoiding that conversation. I’m going to continue to avoid that conversation until I can talk to Charon about it. Because I don’t want to go to her church because of its stance on the LGBTQIA+ community.
She did give me a lot of money for watching her dogs though, so there’s that. Way more than I feel I earned.
I have killer cramps. It’s making it hard to do anything. I think I may have accidentally ingested stuff I wasn’t supposed to yesterday. I ate at a couple of places that didn’t seem to have the best countermeasures for cross-contamination for dairy things. I’m pretty sure I saw cheese in my salsa. I probably ate a bit. I’m really glad I’m not anaphylactic allergic, mostly just the edge of extremely intolerant and hives. It would explain the itchiness today.
I think I’m going to talk to Charon about how the busyness has been affecting my anxiety. I can’t break this down well and it gets overwhelming really fast. That sounds like a good topic. Because I really want to be able to function on my own and part of functioning on my own is learning how to do all that stuff on my own and I can’t do it on my own until someone teaches me how to do it first.
Okay, I have a plan. I will be able to set that plan into motion tomorrow. Go me.
-the Sarcastic Autist