Hysterectomy Worries

It’s been a while since I actually sat down and tried to type up a post.  It probably won’t be a long one since I’m distracted.

I still don’t know what I’m going to do in terms the hysterectomy.  I talked to my hormone doctor yesterday and she is going to have a guy call me to ask me questions so we can figure more out what I’m looking at in terms of what I’m willing to do.  I’d rather not just go and do a hysterectomy, mostly because it’s taking an organ, but also because if it’s the same thing that it was at the beginning of the year, with cysts forming and bursting and causing internal bleeding, taking out just the cervix and uterus is gonna do jack shit.  I’d have to get my remaining ovary taken out and if I get that taken out, I’m either going to be on testosterone or estrogen for until I hit menopause age.  Since my mum has the bone stuff, I’m at an increased risk of it.

If the surgery was just another laparoscopic procedure, go in there and get the gunk out, I’d be a lot less hesitant.  There are some very real long term consequences of this, long term medical consequences.

And then, the only time I even got pregnant was from the rape.  The idea of being pregnant freaks me out because that is just not for me, but also the only time I’ve ever had the chance was from such a terrible thing, it’s fucking with me.

In other news, I had a grilled cheese using my vegan cheese and it was the first time in years I had a grilled cheese and it was so good I was so happy.  I can’t wait to be able to have another one tomorrow probably.  I got to use this cheese or freeze it so it doesn’t go to waste.

Thanks for reading.

-The Sarcastic Autist

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