Okay, this is going to sound petty as fuck, but I’m really disappointed. We were going to have spaghetti tonight so I was going to have spaghetti tacos since I hate regular spaghetti and my brother said he’d pick up some spaghetti noodles for me from the store. I wasn’t told he was leaving and he left before I could give him money and a list of things I wanted. Currently, I don’t have anything for breakfast and I’m lacking a few essentials for the rest of my meals.
Now, something you need to know, is that I eat the same things for meals. I’m out of hummus and bagels so I was going to have quesadillas. Those are the two things I eat for breakfast on the regular. I was going to ask him to pick me up some tortillas for me for breakfast and some vegetables and crushed red pepper for my ramen. So I don’t have that stuff.
Which would be forgivable, except he got fettuccine noodles and not spaghetti noodles. It’s spaghetti tacos, not fettuccine tacos. The noodles taste different. They’re different. I won’t eat square cut pizza for similar reasons. It has to be triangle cut. So I couldn’t have spaghetti tacos. And I had nothing else ready to eat except ice cream so I ended up having that.
Honestly, he should have called. And yeah, I’m being autistic about this. I appreciate him even getting me noodles. I can be thankful for something and still say “hey, this is wrong”.
I’m really upset. I’d been looking forward to spaghetti tacos for a few days now and then I couldn’t have any while everyone else got to enjoy spaghetti noodle based food and I had to eat ice cream since I had nothing else I could readily eat.
In other news, my last individual with Charon is tomorrow. I’m sad that I’m not going to be seeing her anymore. I’ll miss her. She’s a good therapist. I wish everyone had a Charon in their lives.
On the other hand, I am looking forward to starting this new adventure in my life. My first quest is going to have to be finding a new therapist that I can work with on my trauma shit. I still see Cybelle, but I don’t see her all that often and she’s my gender therapist. She’s not trained in trauma.
I’m going to be getting my own place by year’s end. Honestly, I kinda feel like I should see about getting into a short-term group home that I can have my cat at. There’s too much going on here and my brother scares me. I don’t feel safe. I am safe, I just don’t feel it. I keep getting flashback type stuff. I dissociate most of the time because it’s just easier to deal with.
And yeah, the spaghetti tacos were just the tipping point.
-The Sarcastic Autist