Brother Problems

I got into an argument with my brother yesterday.  His kid was crying for whatever reason and being fussy and I heard Oniisan and Sister-in-law arguing with Nephew and then I heard what sounded like a smack and heavier crying.  It set me off.  I cried a bit because I was scared.

When Oniisan left their bedroom, I confronted him.  I realize I probably should have waited and I really wanted to, but I figured since I was so activated, I probably should.  I was wrong.  I told Oniisan what I heard and asked if he spanked Nephew and he said no.  I was skeptical, but I said okay and reminded him that there’s no hitting or spanking while I’m here.  He got pissed and started accusing me of telling him how to parent.

I want to say, for the record, I don’t think he hit his kid.  He was too angry to lie to me. If Oniisan said he didn’t, I wasn’t going to push the issue.  However, once he started cussing at me, I told him I was only checking because it triggered me and I had to make sure.  I told him that I recognized that my PTSD issues are mine to deal with, but could he please be considerate and not talk to me the way he was.  If he couldn’t, I wouldn’t talk to him.  Boundaries.

He couldn’t, so I went to my room.  I haven’t talked to him since.  I overheard him complaining later that I was telling him how to parent.  I was not.  I was very explicit that I wasn’t telling him how to parent.  His kid, his rules.  My rules are no hitting and spanking is hitting, so he has to figure something else out.

I spent all day in my room avoiding everyone because I didn’t feel like dealing with that disaster yet.  I’m planning on telling Oniisan that I’ll just stay in my room if something like that happens again.  It kind of sucks.  I used to have such an idealistic view of my brother and now I realize I don’t even know him.  They are all virtually strangers.  I think I probably just idolized him because he’s my big brother and the only one who consistently was nice to me growing up.

He’s kind of an asshole, now.

-The Sarcastic Autist

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