I got into an argument with my brother yesterday. His kid was crying for whatever reason and being fussy and I heard Oniisan and Sister-in-law arguing with Nephew and then I heard what sounded like a smack and heavier crying. It set me off. I cried a bit because I was scared.
When Oniisan left their bedroom, I confronted him. I realize I probably should have waited and I really wanted to, but I figured since I was so activated, I probably should. I was wrong. I told Oniisan what I heard and asked if he spanked Nephew and he said no. I was skeptical, but I said okay and reminded him that there’s no hitting or spanking while I’m here. He got pissed and started accusing me of telling him how to parent.
I want to say, for the record, I don’t think he hit his kid. He was too angry to lie to me. If Oniisan said he didn’t, I wasn’t going to push the issue. However, once he started cussing at me, I told him I was only checking because it triggered me and I had to make sure. I told him that I recognized that my PTSD issues are mine to deal with, but could he please be considerate and not talk to me the way he was. If he couldn’t, I wouldn’t talk to him. Boundaries.
He couldn’t, so I went to my room. I haven’t talked to him since. I overheard him complaining later that I was telling him how to parent. I was not. I was very explicit that I wasn’t telling him how to parent. His kid, his rules. My rules are no hitting and spanking is hitting, so he has to figure something else out.
I spent all day in my room avoiding everyone because I didn’t feel like dealing with that disaster yet. I’m planning on telling Oniisan that I’ll just stay in my room if something like that happens again. It kind of sucks. I used to have such an idealistic view of my brother and now I realize I don’t even know him. They are all virtually strangers. I think I probably just idolized him because he’s my big brother and the only one who consistently was nice to me growing up.
He’s kind of an asshole, now.
-The Sarcastic Autist