I have to finish this book and I have a lot of shit in my head. O just needed to say that I had stuff to say. I’ll say them later though.

Just a quick update since I should be sleeping because I have to be up at fuck o’clock in the morning. I uh, I made myself throw up after dinner. I made stroganoff, which I’ve been craving forever, and I made myself throw up. I’ve been severely restricting and now this. I don’t know. I […]

I have pain. So much pain. I had to stop halfway through doing dishes and just crouch down and breath, trying not to cry or curl up into a little ball. Hate pain

I feel fat and undesirable and like nothing is going right. That is all.

I need to go to sleep and I can’t sleep. I hate everything

I am reading The Name of the Wind and ignoring the panic and flashbacks that keep threatening to overwhelm me. Because book. And because I’ll be damned if I don’t at least pretend I can handle myself. Every time I leave the safety of my book, I start getting overwhelmed and fuck that. So I’m […]

I’m watching Orphan Black and I’m going “please be gay please be gay please be gay”. It would make me very happy if she was gay. I woke up later than I meant to today. I had to go to the store and it snowed last night and snowed a bit more today. I needed […]

Watching Orphan Black. Also pierced my tongue and lip today. I’m in pain for that. I’m kinda meh on most things right now because of everything with the endometriosis and probably needing surgery soon and trying to wrap my mind around that. I want ice cream.

I was a panda today. I had fun being a panda. I’ve been getting so little sleep lately that I just crashed when I got home. I’m about to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s the last movie on my 31 movie list for October. I’m so excited I actually managed to get through the […]

I’m doing this from my phone again and I have no idea how to do tags on it. Please bear with me. I’m gonna be a panda for All Hallow’s tomorrow. I’m excited. I’m not really doing anything outside of therapy but I’m excited. I’m tired. I woke up at 3 am from nightmares. I […]