Heads up, I may be a little drunk and may have been drinking a bit every day since last Wednesday. Had therapy today. I’m gonna miss Charon as a therapist, but honestly, I feel like it’s time for me to move on to someone else. It’s okay. Hopefully someone I can communicate a little better […]
Tag Archives: authenticity
Brother, Charon, Pride
Brother and his spouse and child have been here since Thursday. There’s been a few hiccups, but nothing major. I went to Pride on Saturday for the first time. It was fun. I had therapy with Charon today. Not so fun. I’m pretty shut down for things. With Charon, it’s just… I don’t want to […]
Therapy and Feeling Like…
Charon and I talked for a few minutes this morning before group. She said the therapist she recommended doesn’t think she’d be a good fit. I only have to find someone who deals with extensive childhood trauma in autistic queer folx. I’ve lost weight over the last few weeks because of the stress and shit […]
The Bad and the Good
Sleep is a myth perpetuated by Big Pharma and the makers of Melatonin. I had panic attacks yesterday. Yes, plural. So, shit is actually getting pretty bad and I should really talk to Charon about it. Every night is nightmares/night terrors. I wake up sweating and/or shaking half the time. This is getting bad. I […]
Muddying the Water
Something I thought about earlier: Why do I listen to my anxiety and depression if they’re such fucking liars? I have no follow up on that line of thinking, just thought I would share. Moving on. I made an appointment with my psychiatrist, Styx, to talk about meds for my anxiety and depression. I still […]
Sibling Dynamics
Okay, I had DBT group today, again the LGBT one, and again, I didn’t hate it. I like the people. I ran into the issue of getting anxious and wanting to leave. My heart rate went from it’s normal 50-70 range to 130 at one point. I spent the better half of group focusing on […]
Uncomfortability Issues
I just finished reading Will and Spirit. It’s a good read. It goes on about willingness vs willfulness and unity and dualism. It’s a bit of a Christian read but it has a lot of other references too. There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors. Good read though. Something hit me earlier that made […]
Short Blurb on Fear
Okay, so, I posted briefly about the fender bender we had yesterday. Honestly, just talking about it has helped a bit and, while I like that, I hate that it proves my therapist right that talking about things instead of shoving them into the dark recesses of my mind is more helpful and healthy. I […]
the Death and Rebirth of Transitioning
I had name change court Tuesday, the 15th. I have officially changed my name. My mum was going to drive me to the Social Security office so I can change it with them, but it’s been cold and we are lazy. And also very sensitive to the cold. We are planning on going Tuesday, as […]
Broken Thing
Tomorrow is the anniversary. I don’t know how I’m feeling except bad. And I feel bad that I feel bad. I’m just trying not to think about it much. I have Dungeons and Dragons and I have to do laundry and I’m going to do my best not to let it run my day. I […]
the sarcastic autist 