When I had therapy with Cybele the other day, she made me feel the most validated I have in a long while. I told her about how I feel like the most masculine presenting person in one of my trans support groups where there’s mostly trans femme and trans women, whereas in the trans masc/trans […]
Today was the first day I got to watch my godmother’s dogs. It was okay. I’m itchy. Surprisingly, I only got anxious thinking about someone stealing my bike. Not about someone potentially breaking in and raping and/or murdering me. So I’m going to chalk that up as a win. I’ve been having a hard time […]
I got almost 3 full hours of sleep last night. Nightmares. Mostly about living with my aunt and uncle and living at the house I grew up in. A few other things thrown in too. I still have no idea what to do next in therapy. It’s a start though. And for the record, tons […]
I’ll remind you all that the point of this is to figure out where to go next in therapy. I’m trying to find a couple more things to do in Exposure Therapy. What memories are the most vivid, the most traumatic, the ones that give me the most nightmares? So far, most of my […]
I am filled with anxiety and sadness now. Writing earlier has brought up many memories and sensations I thought I had forgot. Maybe it’s the weather. Smells of must and mold and decay, of dog shit and piss and rotten food. The taste of it in the air. The feeling of uncleanliness that never has […]
Okay, last time I wrote I think I was telling you guys about needing to come up with the next thing to do in therapy, regarding Exposure Therapy stuff. I’ve been thinking and all I’m coming up with is stuff I don’t want to talk about. Naturally, this means it’s stuff that I need to […]
As I’m gaining progress (at least I think I am) with dealing with the rape in an effective-ish manner, there seems to be a lot more shit coming up. It’s like I focused so hard on keeping this all locked down tight by refusing to think about it, shoving it to the deepest recesses of […]
Hey, all. It’s me, the Sarcastic Autist. Lately I’ve been feeling a lot like crying. Partly because Exposure Therapy is hard as fuck. Partly because I’m remembering some really nasty ass shit about my childhood. And partly because I just feel lost. I feel lost because I realized, or rather, came to discover that my […]
It’s cold. Like, double negative digits lately. I got so excited when it was finally warm enough to snow. Yup, that’s right, I live where it gets too cold to snow. It’s friggin’ ridiculous. It’s been so cold that my asthma is acting up because of it. A few updates on random things before I […]
So I finally finished reading The Body Keeps the Score the other day. Good book. I really recommend it. I have so much that I need to write about, so bare with me if I seem to meander all over the place. I’ve been sleeping like shite lately. First thing, I don’t really remember what […]
the sarcastic autist 