I don’t even remember the last time I posted. I’ve been going through so much shit lately. I asked for some Ativan for my panic attacks and got some. I have been having a lot of panic and anxiety attacks lately. My mum was sent to the hospital a week after Thanksgiving and she apparently […]
I had my last DBT group today. Everyone said such nice things about me. I gave Charon the letter I wrote to her and I gave her this joke shaker thingy full of jokes for her. I asked if she would accept old Chaz and she said yes. So now Charon has old Chaz. I […]
Brother and his spouse and child have been here since Thursday. There’s been a few hiccups, but nothing major. I went to Pride on Saturday for the first time. It was fun. I had therapy with Charon today. Not so fun. I’m pretty shut down for things. With Charon, it’s just… I don’t want to […]
I’m feeling overwhelmed and I have been fighting the urge to cut for a while now. I had a talk with Charon the other day and it turns out that I was misunderstanding something she was telling me, so now we have that out of the way and can continue to move forward. I’m feeling […]
Sleep is a myth perpetuated by Big Pharma and the makers of Melatonin. I had panic attacks yesterday. Yes, plural. So, shit is actually getting pretty bad and I should really talk to Charon about it. Every night is nightmares/night terrors. I wake up sweating and/or shaking half the time. This is getting bad. I […]
Tomorrow is the anniversary. I don’t know how I’m feeling except bad. And I feel bad that I feel bad. I’m just trying not to think about it much. I have Dungeons and Dragons and I have to do laundry and I’m going to do my best not to let it run my day. I […]
I hope you all had a chance to vote this election! Getting out and voting is important if you are legally allowed to vote (in other words, not a felon). I did an absentee ballot and found that was easier because I was able to take my time and do research on who I wanted […]
I had the trans support group yesterday. I participated more and more people used my pronouns. A couple people used he instead and I’m okay with that. I got offers from some of them to be the second person I need to do my name change, but I need to have known them for at […]
Okay, y’all ready for this one? This morning on my ride to group, the taxi driver was a woman I’ve had a few times. Subject came up and I mentioned I don’t want kids because it kinda creeps me out. I love children, it’s just the idea of me being pregnant. She kept insisting that […]
I am colouring my hair again. Blue this time. It probably won’t come out well, but I don’t care. My skin is also getting coloured. I’m a smurf. I had my MRI this morning. I don’t know how it turned out, but probably normal. My leg still hurts. I won’t go to a pain clinic […]
the sarcastic autist 