Hello, friends! Wow, has it been a rollercoaster ride these last few weeks. I’m having a really hard time with my depression and PTSD/CPTSD/whatever the fuck is wrong with me lately and have been doing the bare minimum lately. In addition, I have cramps right now and I don’t even have a uterus, so this […]
Okay, so I said I’d come up with some goals/things I wanted to work on in therapy and that I was going to label it “Therapy Quests” and I did. I’ve come up with a few. The Quests Quest One: I want to feel valued and loved. I want to stop feeling like I don’t […]
I had my last DBT group today. Everyone said such nice things about me. I gave Charon the letter I wrote to her and I gave her this joke shaker thingy full of jokes for her. I asked if she would accept old Chaz and she said yes. So now Charon has old Chaz. I […]
Heads up, I may be a little drunk and may have been drinking a bit every day since last Wednesday. Had therapy today. I’m gonna miss Charon as a therapist, but honestly, I feel like it’s time for me to move on to someone else. It’s okay. Hopefully someone I can communicate a little better […]
Charon and I talked for a few minutes this morning before group. She said the therapist she recommended doesn’t think she’d be a good fit. I only have to find someone who deals with extensive childhood trauma in autistic queer folx. I’ve lost weight over the last few weeks because of the stress and shit […]
Okay, I promise I’ll respond to comments later, probably tomorrow or something. I just got back from therapy and my trans-masc support group. I talked to Charon and I am going to have to get a new therapist. Honestly, while I’m sad, it’s probably for the best because there’s stuff I don’t think I’d be […]
Trigger/Activation Warning: Alright, it has been a fucking week, let me tell you. I’m still dealing with the shock from my brother’s declaration that my experiences are/were real and that I’m not crazy. Adding on to that, I’m graduating DBT soon and I’m unsure if I’m going to be able to keep seeing […]
I ended up texting Charon on Sunday because of what happened Saturday night. What happened Saturday is that my brother and I had a conversation. His brother-in-law overdosed and took a video and sent it to their entire family via text. My nephew plays on his parents’ phones a lot and could have seen it. […]
Had Charon today. I’m trying to do some Exposure Therapy stuff on my own with going to the Red Box Store that gives me flashbacks and shit and ended up being a bit late because I went to Red Box Store beforehand and missed the tram. Something that’s bothering me about Charon right now is […]
When I had therapy with Cybele the other day, she made me feel the most validated I have in a long while. I told her about how I feel like the most masculine presenting person in one of my trans support groups where there’s mostly trans femme and trans women, whereas in the trans masc/trans […]
the sarcastic autist 